JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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