So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
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Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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