Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
