I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
