He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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