Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
