Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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