if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
