yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
