Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
