He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
