you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
