You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
