she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
