Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
