I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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