weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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