If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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