I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
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i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
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you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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