If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
