You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I want a musical about memes.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
