Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
