If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
