I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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