the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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