I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
