I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
