Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
