Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
