so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
