Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
