hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
