I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
