That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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