my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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