I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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