Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
