I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
