I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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