I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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