girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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