I wish I could punch you in the face.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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