Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
