hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
