Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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