The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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