No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
