Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
