It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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