i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
