God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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