It's a beautiful day for a hangover
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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