Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
