the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
