You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
