Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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