Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
